CBB '24 - Contest Preview: Hello Fellow Youths

Illinois-Purdue, UNC-Clemson, Auburn-Arkansas and Iowa State-Oklahoma, highlight the Week 1 card. Plus, DJ Dan Hurley says, "Hello, fellow youths."

CBB '24 - Contest Preview: Hello Fellow Youths
DJ Dan Hurley is excited for Robn and says, "Hello, fellow youths"

The Dawn Of A Less Vegetable-y Era

Hope Springs

January 4th is not winter, at Robn. It is blooming April. We're planting seeds. There is soil. All manner of things are sprouting.

One might encapsulate this by saying that hope springs eternal, but I will not, because Hope Springs sounds like a small town in Arkansas, and it is a lazy way of describing a feeling of such righteous magnitude.

The newly christened ship Robn could sail directly into an iceberg, or it could sail directly into port at Saint-Tropez where the cointreau is just about to be passed around. The unknown – the gamble – is what makes life worth living.

So is the gratitude.

To wit, there is growth right here at HQ. There is a new office with test printings of Robn's official logo. There is a small dog that fetches and defecates.

There are recent ultrasound shots that are framed like a Leibovitz.

And as such there is no room for negativity. We brook no trendy internet-era cynicism, here.

We've lamented this on these pages for some time – it is de rigeur for twenty and thirty-somethings to write on the internet about how much everything sucks.

This is de rigeur for the same reason that Lou Reed didn't write songs about rainbows and unicorns. Gravelly-voiced anguish sells. Doom and conflict sell (hello, corporate media).

In this case, we will likely be very bad at selling things (hello, investors). We do not write on the internet about how everything sucks. We write and produce the content that you didn't know you needed, like:

We write about these things because everything does not suck, and because while silliness may not always sell, it can beguile.

You live in the most privileged era of human history. And unless you're an NFL person or a freak for the Australian Open pre-circuit, we're rounding the corner into the time when people begin to care about college basketball.

We are lucky to be here, allocating Available Free Play Points to the Friday night UCONN moneyline that isn't called a moneyline (why use gambling terms when you're not offering a gambling product?)

We are lucky to be here, watching Thad Matta slink off the Carnesecca floor with both the disposition and underbite of Elmer Fudd; watching Mark Few squint so intensely at the thought of struggling for the first time in 20 years that he lets out a little squeaker of a fart that only his assistants hear; watching Oumar Ballo make consecutive free throws.

We are lucky to be here, in spite of Mick Cronin existing.

So, let's act like it. Let's get weird, maybe mingle a bit. Let's make a several-hundred-person basketball contest feel like a fantasy league with 10 of your friends.

And let's fill out our first card of the new era, below.

Let's Refresh, To Be Fresh

The weekly picks card will be embedded in posts on Robnsports.com for this year's competition.

The Week 1 picks card is embedded below.

After 9am PT/Noon ET, this form will close and if you come back to this space, everyone's picks will be shown in a spreadsheet.

  • To join the contest, subscribe to Robnsports.com and fill out a weekly picks card
  • You can refer up to 5 new contestants to the contest and receive 100 referral bonus winnings for each contestant (see the very bottom of the rules document for details)
  • Picks cards will usually come out on Thursday mornings and both be posted statically on the site and be emailed to subscribers
  • All picks cards are due by 9am PT / Noon ET on Saturday, unless one of the games you're picking starts before then
  • The picks spreadsheet that shows everyone else's picks is no longer viewable prior to 9am PT / Noon ET on Saturday
  • You must allocate all 1,000 Available Free Play Points (AFPP) across one or more games on the card
  • If you miss a week or two - no problem. Just come back the next week and keep playing to generate more winnings
  • Your goal is to generate enough winnings between now and conference championship weekend (March 16th) to be in the top 64 contestants. If you are, you qualify for The Tournament.

Without further ado, the Week 1 card: